sustain:if:able kiwi

Colouring a contemporary stations of the cross

Amid the ancient history of Saint Salvador Cathedral, Brugge, is a contemporary stations of the cross. Beautifully arranged in a side chapel, it is one, of very few signs, that this faith might be living.

A project by Dutch artist, Jac Bisschops, between 2008 and 2010, he aimed to communicate the essential message of each Station of the Cross. His aim is contemplation, a seeking for simplicity, harmony and clarity. The hubris of the cathedral was thus a thoroughly fitting backdrop.

A feature is the limited palette, five colours

• blue for infinity
• brown for transitory earth
• black for darkness
• white for purity
• gold for resurrection

Each base colour is used three times. Layering is used to provide a rich intensity of colour.

Another feature is the interplay of horizontal and vertical lines. In this sense, it has echoes of New Zealand artist, Colin McCahon and his stations of the cross (although McCahonh uses more of a two colour palette).

Together, simple palette, straight lines, rich layers, it actually works. I find myself slowing, pausing. In the concentrating, I find an inviting clarity, a simplicity that reminds me of life’s essence, the reality of Easter. (For those interested, a YouTube video, which includes every piece is here.)

euro-bound

Tomorrow, 26th December, we Eurostar across the Channel. Time for our Euro experience. Tee hee.

It’s been a busy first two weeks of sabbatical. I’ve had two cracks at writing a publisher proposal. One got the thumbs down, “needs more effort” from a helpful colleague. The second, shaped by the helpful conversation emerging from the first, got a much more encouraging response. So with a greater sense of clarity, of both the big picture and some stepping stones, I’ve now started to work on a couple of sample chapters. It’s been a profitable beginning to the sabbatical.

A surprise is to realise how quickly and completely I’ve forgotten about the Principal pressures. Being sucked into a book proposal in my largest study ever in another country, in another hemisphere, has been a very good way to find some space, mental and spiritual.

But now it’s time to pause, to holiday. Not this year in a Southern Hemisphere of beaches, baches, barbeques and books. Rather a Northern Hemisphere of art galleries, museums and cathedrals.Three weeks to absorb, across Belgium, Germany and France. Looking forward to stepping away, not just from being Principal, but from being sabbatical writer.

My largest study ever

Ripon College is the centering, homing location for our sabbatical. It emerged from a chance email, three Kiwis missiologists connecting. Cathy Ross emailed me congratulating us on our appointing at Uniting College of our new Director of Missiologist, Rosemary Dewerse. Cathy offered us hospitality if I ever came to the UK, which I said I actually was planning to do in a few months. And so we are now here at Ripon College, training place for Anglican Ordinands.

The library is located within the building and I’ve found a quiet little spot. I’ve not worked in a dedicated theological library for a long time and its just magic, surrounded by all the books you are likely to need. It’s like my office, only with more books and no work to distract or desk to tidy. It’s safer than a public library, meaning you can leave your computer to go for lunch or a 15 minute walk-and-break. It’s richer, being able to go to “practical theology” and browse all the relevant shelf, looking for chapters on how the Bible is being used, or going to “ecclesiology” and finding an new resource.

This first week of sabbatical I’ve started with a blank page and written around 4,000 words of a book précis. What do I want to say, how to begin, how to end and the stepping stones to get there? I hope to have a publisher proposal and sample chapter by Christmas.

the sabbatical begins

And so it begins …

• For sabbatical – Adelaide, Hong Kong, London, Oxford (Ripon College) – from Sunday 9 December
• For holiday – London, Bruges, Amsterdam, Cologne, Mainz, Freiburg, Paris, Oxford – from 26 December until 15 January
• For research (to be organised) – Bristol, Cardiff, Glasgow, Edinburgh, York, London – from 25 January until 15 February
• For visits (to be organised) – Bristol, Cambridge, Durham, Glasgow – from 16 January until 23 January

I’ve thought about not blogging until I get the book (Sustainability and Fresh Expressions) written. As a discipline. But Lynne joked that would be like cutting of an arm. That I blog to get my thoughts organised. So who knows ….

a day of regrets: C’est la vie

My sabbatical ended today.

I packed up my research, books and keyboard. I put away my highlighters, filed my reading notes and returned my office chair to Uniting College. I cleaned the whiteboard, wiping off my big picture progress, the word count on the five chapters I’ve been working on.

I’ve done lots.
– around 45,000 words of the book project – sustainability and the emerging church
– two research funding bids, one of 5,500 words, another of 1,500 words
– a short article on “Deacons, pioneering and the mission of God”
– a quick trip to Sydney to look at a way of training leaders
– coffee with a range of stimulating folk

But I end with regret.

Regret because I’ve loved the space, the more relaxed pace, the chance to say no to a whole range of speaking things, to have weekends off.

Regret because returning to work and a number of corridor conversations and emails was a reminder of some of the complexities and difficulties that lie in wait.

Regret because I reckon I’m about 3 weeks away from finishing the book project. And while the sabbatical was meant to be 3 months, there’s been over 3 weeks of work that has dragged me back. Work I was prepared to do, work that, now done, will make the next 6 months so much easier.

But if I’d said no, would the book be finished?

C’est la vie. Such is life. A day to wipe the whiteboard clean and prepare for the next stage in the journey of life.

midway marker, in days and words

While Steve is making pleasing progress, he can be easily distracted

As of today, I’m about halfway through this 3 months of study leave.

There have been a few distractions. In the first week of study leave I was involved in the group that appointed Sean Gilbert as the new Ministry Practice Co-ordinator to the Uniting College Faculty. In the last few weeks we’ve begun the selection and interview processes for a Principal’s PA (0.5), a Director of Missiology (0.5) and a Post-graduate Co-ordinator (.0.5). These are not yet filled, so they will continue to be a “study leave” presence.

So what else have I done?

I’ve had afternoon coffees with a range of interesting colleagues, getting me out of my little head in my little writing cave, building the networks.

I’ve written for publication one short 850 word article, on “Diaconal Ministry and Fresh Expressions.”

I’ve lodged one 5,000 word funding bid, seeking $25,000 to do research on Social innovation in religious organisations in Australia.

The major focus has been the book project – “Emerging ten years on: durability and sustainability in fresh expressions.” I’ve written a 4,500 word outline of the entire project, mapping out all 13 chapters, which I’ve sent to a few friends for feedback.

With that big picture in place, I’ve got stuck into four of the six new chapters I want to write. This has involved analysing the focus group interviews – trying to make sense of written transcripts of around 50,000 word in total. Plus analysing the data from 47 survey forms – in particular looking at gender differences between how males and females grow in faith in emerging churches. I am not yet ready to make any conclusions. But I am loving the twists and turns the project is taking me (especially the reading on gender (here, here and here), loving what the data is showing.

All told the word count for these four chapters now totals around 20,000. Not necessarily good words, but words. You can’t edit what’s in one’s head, but you can edit what’s on paper. I reckon I need about 45,000. So I am almost halfway. Today. A day which also marks the midway marker in this three months of study leave.

So, 6 weeks on, at the mid-way marker, a full book manuscript is still a possibility by the end of study leave, 29 June.

intuition and anecdotes in theology

A playful moment today. I am working this week on a chapter on emerging church practices. In trying to make sense of how to proceed, I have been enjoying a book by Max Van Manen, Researching Lived Experience: Human Science for an Action Sensitive Pedagogy.

The book explores how to use lived experience – ours and others – not for mere academic interest, but to be part of transformation – in us and in our spheres of influence. In the book, Van Manen seeks a method by which to be systematic and critically rigorous about lived experience. One way he suggests is by the use of anecdotes. He notes how so often in conversations, people use short stories to make a point.

Anecdotes connect us to real life. They can provide concrete demonstrations of wisdom. They provide experiential case studies. Each anecdote is unique and particular, yet often each anecdote is addressing matters of universal importance.

So I have been looking through my interview data, looking for anecdotes. Surprise, surprise, I found that in the 5 focus group interviews I did, 45 anecdotes were used. Previously I might have dismissed these as examples, difficult to make into nice little sound bites. So probably I would have walked past them.

Instead, today I have grouped these 45 anecdotes and begun to analyse them, each particular, for the emerging practices present in them.

As I have worked, I have also been thinking about the Gospels. And I began to wonder if perhaps they too are in fact a collection, artfully chosen, of anecdotes about Jesus. In John 20:30, we are told that “Jesus performed many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not recorded in this book.” In describing these signs to each other, the disciples used anecdotes. Which John then declares that he has selected, edited and artfully arranged so that the reader “may believe” and “by believing … may have life.” I love that sense of the Gospel writer daring to tell a universal story by gathering a particular set of particular anecdotes.

But how to connect some anecdotes from an emerging church today with these Gospels as anecdotes?

So this afternoon I spread out the Jesus Deck on the office floor. The Jesus Deck has 52 cards. In other words, 52 anecdotes from the life of Jesus! I spread out these Gospel anecdotes alongside the anecdotes from my interviews.

It is certainly not an approach I’ve used in research before. But it has begun to generate some really interesting conversations. Whether they are dead ends or not, we will see in the coming days.

my study leave world

This is what my world has been reduced to … the lived experience of everyday people (Cityside survey data) being placed alongside mission, methodologies of how to read living experience, theories of curation. Locked in a concrete box called an office, removed from distractions, my world is now smaller, yet, strangely, larger.

a seasonal spirituality of wine making

I was re-reading my sabbatical 08 journal last week. Partly because it was this time a year ago the Taylor family headed off (August 20-Nov 1). Partly because of the news that two of my sabbatical writing projects have been given the green publishing light. (1st, a chapter on the Bible in bro’town accepted for an edited book, published by Semeia Studies, designed to be used in theology and popular culture graduate level courses. 2nd, a paper constructing a pneumatology for engaging popular culture accepted as a book chapter, to be published by Wipf and Stock publishers.)

As part of the sabbatical, I took a 3 day retreat, walking the Riesling trail and re-reading my journal, I found the following quote:

“It begins with the old, dry grown vines gently tendered. Berries gently hand picked at optimal ripeness, producing full-flavoured fruit. Crushed, hard plunged, basket pressed to extract intense juices. Add passionate wine making skills, maybe an influence of oak. And in time …. delicious, full-bodied, flavoursome wines just for you to enjoy.”

It caused me to reflect on seasons; of how vines become laden become harvested become processed become served. What season am I/you/Opawa? What practices and resources are needed for this season? (And all this before you even think about toasts to new wineskins.)

Updated: In honour of this post, I got my Spirituality Of Wine of the shelf and will be reflecting around it’s themes over the next weeks.

some days are better than others

I’m tired of missional church. Too inward a conversation. Isn’t it richer to live a missional life in God’s missional world. Or too broad?

I wrote near 3,000 words today, working on the sabbatical book project. My task was exploring the book of Ruth in terms of mission, change and leadership. Part of my hope is to shift the word missional away from it’s current pairing with the word church, and instead to pair it with lived life. Hence narratives like the book of Ruth, in which missional is not formed around church but around God at work in the life experiences of poor migrants and wealthier business people.

3,000 words is probably my best day’s writing ever, so I’m stoked.

With hindsight, four things helped the writing and one did not. What did help was:
– an emergency pastoral visit, which as I processed it in a cafe afterward, suddenly released a flow of words and got me over the initial writing block
– preaching on Ruth as a peacemaker at Grow with peace a few weeks ago, and the act of preaching forces one to clarify one’s thoughts
– doing a staff/student colloquim at Parkin-Wesley a month ago, on the topic of Ruth, Naomi and Boaz as a missional leader, and the resulting discussion, which was all grist for the mill
– my research assistant, who did a fantastic job working up the Ruth text in preparation for the above colloquim

And what did not help?
– getting up early! I set the alarm for an early rise. But I simply stared at the screen for over an hour, until taking the kids to school and the pastoral appointment kickstarted some writing.

So, today I thank God for the practices of ministry – for pastoral moments, preaching experiences, teaching times.

final sabbatical update

nb: my sabbatical from Opawa has ended, and thus my ability to be away and be secluded in Adelaide. However my sabbatical from Laidlaw College continues, and thus the writing project. So I intend to go out to our holiday home to write Wednesday’s and Thursday’s – pray for this – I have a lot of work to do – basically 2 book contracts and a book chapter to complete.

tuesday morning update

the weekend that was: led the Bible studies at the South Australian Uniting Church synod, offering a missional reading of Luke 1:39-45, which seemed to go really well. I took what I thought were quite a few risks – including doing a communal lectio divina with 350 people, mixing the Magnificant with Paul Kelly, offering open mic feedback – but the response was positive. Then I flew back home ! home ! home ! and ended the weekend as I started it really, doing a lectio divina, of another Luke 1 passage, at our Soak service at Opawa.

where i am at the moment: at home, in our home office, about to head to Opawa – to look at my pigeon hole after 10 weeks away, and to look into the eyes of the staff after 10 weeks away.

on my to-do list this week: not sure, but I suspect that there will be some unexpected surprises somewhere after 10 weeks away.

reading: The Race, by James Patterson, a lightly entertaining read on the flight back from Sydney.

music that’s caught my attention: International traveller by Salmonella Dub.

how i’m feeling about this week: glad – to be home, glad – to be running my river, glad – to be weeding the garden, glad – to be having a cup of tea on our deck.

communion with companions

I wrote the following today for my final chapel service at Parkin-Wesley; seeking to weave theologies of creation and community in relation to communion, mixed with some of my experiences of being here in Adelaide:

For where two or three are gathered
And so God created
gave us earth from which comes grain
gave us water which comes grape
made companions, for it is not good for one to be alone

And so we pause, and in the silence give thanks to God for the companionship of God’s creation

For where two or three are gathered, around table, with friends,
Jesus took bread, broke it, and gave it to them
Some would betray, some would stumble,
some would overpromise, others would underdeliver
“This is my body, which is for you, do this in remembrance of me”

And so we pause, and we give thanks to God for the body,
for our companions at Parkin Wesley, by passing the peace among each other

For where two or three are gathered: this (data projected) moment/image:
taken with my cellphone,
of a wine glass, a McLarenvale Grenache, taken at Samuels George
a Saturday two weekends ago
sitting with companions

And so we pause, and I invite you to name, first name only,
as an expression of thanks to God for the companions  – parents, teachers, lovers, friends – that have brought you to this day,

In the same way after supper he took the cup
“This cup is the new covenant in my blood
do this, whenever you drink it, in remembrance of me”
The “Companion” wine label, a new covenant – God for us, God with us, God among us,

And so we pause, and in the silence invite the Spirit to renew us,
that in grain and grape, our companionship – with God, with each other, with God’s creation – might be renewed

Come, eat, drink,

and then, as an expression of our companionship, we will conclude by saying together the Lords Prayer

sabbatical update 8

Monday morning update

the weekend that was: in Melbourne with friends. they were unable to come to Adelaide, so I had to go to them.  Good to renew relationships with 4 groups of people.

where i am at the moment: Parkin-Wesley, having flown in from Melbourne this morning, but heading off for lunch with a local church leadership team. I’ve got three such conversations this week, joining with local church leaderships for conversations sparked off by my presence and speaking here in Adelaide.

on my to-do list this week: Speaking at Uniting Church Synod, doing a 50 minute Bible Study on Friday morning and again on Saturday morning.  And leaving Adelaide, Saturday, to return home.  So this week marks the end of my “church” sabbatical, although my Laidlaw College sabbatical continues through until the end of the year. I’m sad about that, as it has been such a richly refreshing and profitable time.

reading: Derrida’s Bible. Picked it up at a book sale yesterday for $5 and appreciating the provocative insights around Scripture.

music that’s caught my attention: Coldplay’s Strawberry Swing, and that line “without you it’s a waste of time” and thinking of my family and really missing them and wondering what I’m doing here when they are there.

how i’m feeling about this week: nervous – speaking at the Synod is a big deal and I’m trying some creative stuff and I don’t want to stuff up – and stressed – I have to clear up the relational and physical debris of my last 10 weeks – and unsettled – I have not eaten a meal at home in the last 10 days, what with all the goodbyes and relational stuff – and sad – sad to go, yet I’d be sad to stay. In other words, I’m a complex mess of feeling.

retreating along a wine trail

As part of my sabbatical, I wanted to include some time to retreat, pray and reflect. I have just had a wonderful time completing part (a), which involved walking the Riesling Trail.  I find God best outdoors and when walking, so I really wanted to do something that allowed this.   Plus a few years ago, I came across 10 excellent reflection questions, which I saw on MarkO‘s blog.  So I put the two pieces together over the last few days.

I would walk the Riesling Trail for an hour, pondering a question, surrounded by this incredibly rich mix of history, wine production and art of various sorts. Then I’d stop and journal, often with a coffee or with a tasting mixed in.  It proved very fruitful, helping me focus, opening up some surprising new insights and providing some real clarity on the next steps for my life, including Opawa.  (And I kept the tenth one back, because I think it’s worth talking about as a Taylor team :)).  For those interested, here are the 10 questions: (more…)