Wednesday, August 06, 2008

18.5 weeks old

I did a wee farewell service tonight for Hine Rose P. who died in the womb at 18.5 weeks. Close friends and family gathered at the family home to mark an incredibly difficult roller coaster journey over the last 7 weeks.

Here was one of the prayers: In the middle is a bowl of water. Water means many things. It speaks of life and death. It speaks of soothing and healing. It speaks of relaxing and letting go and cleansing. Beside the bowl is some salt, representing tears and sadness; and some roses, for Hine Rose, a symbol of love and beauty and joy.

Any who want to may now pray. We can pray with words. We can also pray with actions. You may want to
– make a fist in anger
– hold your palms open in release
– swirl your hands praying comfort
– make sign of cross as a speaking of hope
– add some salt to the water
– float a petal

If you would like to make this prayer your own, either for yourself or for others know who have been through miscarriage, you could add your initials in the comments.

A pastoral note: I’ve never done a service like this before. Normally miscarriages are a thing kept quiet. But I’ve had numbers of older woman thanking me and sharing their pain over the fact that their grief was never publicly marked.

Posted by steve at 11:05 PM


  1. Well done. I applaud your courage to participate in this and help this family. I applaud the family for naming their child who died. Having lost three children through miscarriage, my wife and I have found that naming the children and talking to God is a great help in dealing with the grief. We learnt this the hard way though, as it took us 5 months after the 2nd child had died to realise that we were not doing well, and then some counseling to get us back on track and to encourage us to do what this family has done. My prayer is that God will use this experience to bring healing and love to the family and that their and your courage will encourage others who have suffered in this way to do the same. Blessings MJ aka wokboy

    Comment by wokboy — August 7, 2008 @ 1:14 am

  2. truly beautiful – thanks for your courage to offer this xxj

    Comment by julie — August 7, 2008 @ 1:49 am

  3. JB

    Comment by Anonymous — August 7, 2008 @ 6:37 am

  4. JB

    Comment by Anonymous — August 7, 2008 @ 6:37 am

  5. sw

    Comment by anonymous — August 9, 2008 @ 2:57 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.